


Patricia Blum Uris

by pegmepatty



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Antisemitism, Fertility Issues, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Pansexual Patty Uris, Stanley Uris Loves Patricia Blum Uris, mentions of blood but nothing gory, the other couples will feature later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25129822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pegmepatty/pseuds/pegmepatty
Summary: They had shared a drink, a song, and a kiss by the end of the night and Stanley (but you can call me Stan) had promised he was going to marry her one day as they said goodbye.She fell in love after one awkward dance in the living room of a stranger and a polite kiss to the cheek as he walked her to her dorm.-----Patty's lifestory from the antisemitism she faced as a child through to her happily ever after with her brilliant husband and their new found family.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Patty is the best character in IT and she deserves more recognition. 
> 
> There's more chapters to come that deal with Stan and Patty's relationship, their pregnancy problems, and will also include a fix-it for Chapter Two where NOBODY dies. 
> 
> I will be adding to the tags as I add new chapters but please message me if you have any specific worries. 
> 
> (Also I'm from England so if some words have extra 'u's or aren't the right American term, sorry)

Patricia Mary Blum loved being Jewish when she was younger. Her mother and father would read to her from the Torah every night in beautiful Hebrew that sounded better than any fairytale they'd read her before. She loved learning about the rules and beliefs and the ideas of being just and merciful to all was amazing to her. The image of one amazing creature creating the entire world, from her fingernails to the stars in the sky, was mesmerising and she wished that everyone could see the world in a loving way with the awe that she had. 

However as she grew Patty began to notice how the other families would treat her when she'd mention being Jewish. Her father had told her to say it with pride and wear the badge of Judaism in everything she did and said but as she reached the age of eight she began questioning him. How could the one true God create humans that disliked the world and the creatures on it? Why did some of her neighbours go hunting with the intention to kill animals? Why did one boy in her math class have parents that separated because his father ran off with the babysitter? Why did the other children tease and mock Patty for something she had always known, something that brought her comfort, something that connected her with the rest of her family?

By age ten Patty had realised that even if she didn't talk about being Jewish, people could sense it on her. Apparently she had a Jewish nose and Jewish eyes and a Jewish sense of humour but that made no sense because her nose didn't look like her father's and her humour was normally punished at home and she thought her eyes were normal if not a little dull sometimes. She never understood how some people could just take one look at her and know she was Jewish. 

She began to sneak makeup into her bag (given to her by a friend in exchange for Patty doing one of her history papers) and lining her eyes a bright blue in the dirty mirrors at school. She saved up and spent all her allowance on new hair clips and velvet scrunchies and learned to do her hair in under 30 minutes before her first class of the day in the dull light of her school's bathroom. Maybe neon pink hair clips, blue eyeliner, and a fuzzy green scrunchie would make her look less Jewish. The school didn’t love her wearing bold makeup but they never commented on it, they seemed more comfortable with her when she looked less like herself. 

She wasn't ashamed of being seen as Jewish but it caused so much hassle at school that she wanted to just seem normal. The teachers would tell her to tone down her 'Jewness' because it wasn't appropriate and it made people uncomfortable. The girls in her classes would laugh at her on the days she woke up too late to do her makeup or hair in the bathroom and call her a Yid or spit the word Jew at her like it was disgusting.

Patty's father got stricter and stricter as she became a teenager. She wasn't allowed to go out with friends unless her father went around their houses first and had dinner with their family. He would then lecture her on how the food they ate wasn't kosher and the discipline was too lax and therefore she should never talk with them again. 

This made Patty learn how to be sneaky and clever in convincing her father to leave the house and she kept the image of an innocent, delicate girl throughout the whole of high school. Her mother was nice enough but was too busy with the house and her husband to really be bothered with her once Patty was independent enough to keep herself alive. She had taught her how to sew and cook and clean when she was younger (all very valuable skills that every woman would need, Patricia) and told her how education could get you a job but not a husband. Her parents both disapproved of her talking too much with students in her school because apparently they were all bad influences so Patty was a slightly lonely teenager, more focused on reading books about animals and trees than socialising or making many friends. 

Despite that, Patty made a friend in Charlotte Elizabeth Brown. Charlotte (or Charlie which was what she preferred) was a miraculous girl with the softest hair and the most striking attitude that she met at age fifteen. She was always called into the principal's office for running her mouth and breaking dress code with her short shorts and dyed green hair. She was the most interesting creature God had created, according to Patty, and she prayed and prayed that maybe one day she would be as cool as Charlie. 

Their first meeting was unexpected. Patty's father made her do extra classes in Chemistry after school because her B wasn't an A and Charlie had been hiding in the bike shelters smoking a spliff and humming a new Madonna song that Patty was fairly sure was called Vogue. She’d heard the song on the radio last week and had planned to find a cassette tape of Madonna’s second album to ask her parents to get for her birthday in a few months time so Patty believed their meeting was fate. Patty had walked around the corner to collect her bike and get home before the rain started when she ran directly into Charlie. 

From that moment the pair was inseparable. The goodie-two-shoes, spoiled Jew with the slutty, loudmouth punk made a strange couple that most other students (and staff) would steer clear from. Patty and Charlie were the happiest when together anyway.

Charlie had gotten a job as a mechanic and Patty’s new favourite hobby was watching her friend’s arms flex under the hood of a car. Charlie was paid very little but the job was easy for her and Patty began liking the smell of fuel and motor oil as much as flowery perfume and scented lotion. Charlie taught her how to change a tyre, check oil levels, and how to make a dirty blue jumpsuit covered in stains look good. 

It wasn't surprising that Patty’s first kiss was with Charlie. After a few months Patty had asked to take a drag of the other girl’s spliff and the whole night from that point was slightly blurry. They had led in a field on an abandoned farm watching the mosquitoes flying above them and dancing their palms through the smoke that billowed from their mouths. Patty could only remember flashes of green hair and hazy images of pink lips. She could remember running her tongue in circles around Charlie’s lip piercings and the moans they breathed into each others’ mouths.

The kissing became an addiction. They never discussed what their relationship was because they weren’t dating but they did things that certainly weren’t platonic and there wasn’t a word for that yet. The bruised lips and secret cuddles intertwined with nights of slow grinding and the feeling of bodies over clothes were Patty’s best memories from school but they weren’t really together in the way that normal people were. 

Patty became an expert at acting like an angel for her parents. She had convinced her father she had joined Chess Club which gave her two hours after class every other day to see Charlie but kissing in the light of the afternoon wasn’t as mystical as their evening and late night rendezvous. She had told her father that her babysitting job was keeping her busy every other night and the seventh grader she tutored needed extra help with his math and history classes. She hadn’t lied about the jobs themselves but between babysitting and tutoring she still had almost four evenings/nights free every week which were spent in Charlie’s bed or on her back in the farmer’s field. 

She could hardly believe that the coolest person she had ever met let her (the nerdiest and most Jewish girl in school) get off on her thighs and mark her neck with kisses multiple times a week until they graduated.

There had never been suspicion about where Patty was every evening or about the dynamics of her and Charlie’s relationship. Patty still felt guilty when looking into the trusting eyes of her father when she would announce her departure every night or would come home late and lie about how wonderful the neighbours’ children were and how much her help was appreciated. She had no idea what her father would have done if he'd found out, the lying would probably have been treated just as harshly as the 'inappropriate behaviour with the same sex'. 

Well it might have been inappropriate according to her father but it wasn't with the same sex because Charlie had announced very casually that she was actually a he a year before graduation and Patty remembered feeling strangely unsurprised. Nothing really changed between them apart from changing some pronouns in conversation and calling him 'her stud' or 'her king' when they were rolling around in bed instead of 'her chickadee' or 'her Juliet'. They never discussed many details with each other but Charlie’s shorter hair and more typically masculine clothes definitely suited him more. 

Patty loved him just the same and his tongue was just as soft and his touch just as electrifying. They'd still share cigarettes and get high and dance in the fields like life didn't matter. Charlie had been the one to show her how to dance with the freedom of a butterfly and move like no one was watching (even though Patty knew God was still peaking) and that was actually how she met Stanley.

Their 'relationship' lasted until they graduated high school. Patty did well and got accepted into University of Georgia to train to be a teacher and Charlie saved up to buy a used car so he could travel to every state in America (a dream he'd shared with Patty one evening after sharing a warm beer and tab of acid as they watched the sky melt and twist in the farmer's field). They said goodbye the day after graduation and that was the first and last time she'd seen Charlie cry.

Patty still sometimes thought about him. The smell of weed and the sight of green hair would instantly transport her back to her high school years and her first ever love. It was a different love to what she felt with her Stanley and it was different to the love she had for the world but it was still love. 

Her father had taught her to be inspired by the world and she had. She saw the beauty in the freedom of butterflies and watched in awe. And, in a similar but ultimately different way, she saw the beauty in the lean body of Charlie as he tensed with pleasure and she had watched in amazement. She had fallen for him in a different way to the rest of the world but she didn’t fall hard enough that their separation wounded her for too long.

College was pretty amazing for Patty.

She'd stopped talking about the wonders of Judaism and she changed her style enough that no one called her names or excluded her from their groups. She wasn't popular (because that wasn't really a thing in college) but she made decent friends and went to most of the parties in her first and second year and that was where she first met the love of her life. 

She had been wearing her new baby pink slip dress that she bought specifically because her roommate Carly had told her the party was fancy and her white fanny pack (with her old sneakers because heels would kill her) when she spotted him. 

Patty suddenly understood what it meant when people said that someone could tell someone was Jewish from appearance alone. The man lent against the kitchen counter was the most stereotypical Jewish man she had ever seen outside of her home town and the most beautiful she'd seen since Charlie. 

His nose wasn't particularly hooked but it was prominent on his face, his posture was poker-straight probably forced on him by his father, and his face was stoic and serious even with TLC playing loudly in the background and the other boys laughing and dancing around. He was sipping his drink with grace and she smiled at his sweater vest and chinos that clashed with the other boys' double denim and backwards baseball caps. He looked genuinely content with standing alone in the kitchen to watch the others and he would occasionally fiddle with the curls that tickled his neck. His hair was long in a style more suited of last decade but he looked naturally confident and Jewish enough for Patty to move towards him.

They had shared a drink, a song, and a kiss by the end of the night and Stanley (but you can call me Stan) had promised he was going to marry her one day as they said goodbye. He was sarcastic and flirtatious without being obnoxious or disrespectful and he was organised and careful without being boring or predictable. She fell in love after one awkward dance in the living room of a stranger and a polite kiss to the cheek as he walked her to her dorm. 

Unlike Charlie, she could show her affection for Stanley wherever they went. They'd hold hands around campus and feed each other in restaurants. They'd kiss in the corners of parties and flirt without fear of ridicule or violence. But it wasn't just the simplicity of loving him in public that Patty adored about him. He had the driest sense of humour that never failed to make her snort her milkshake out through her nose and he had the most interesting personality that gelled with hers like they were soulmates. He shared her love of the world and had a fascination with birds that made her fall even deeper for him. 

Stan described how birds were the only creatures with who could look upon the world from the most objective and unique point of view and Patty would tell him about butterflies and how they had the most freedom and their transformation in life was fascinating and almost unbelievable. Stan told her that he wished to be a bird sometimes and that their silky wings and beautiful features reminded him of Patty's beauty and elegance and Patty told him that Stan’s courage and confidence reminded her of a Monarch butterfly who was strong and stunning.

Stan donated money to conservation charities throughout college and even joined in on the 1996 St.Petersburg protests in Florida. He stood up for what he believed in and didn’t apologise for who he was. Stan didn't try to hide being Jewish and he didn't hold back from explaining every detail of his thoughts with Patty. They were sometimes dark and serious but mostly full of admiration with the world and love for justice and rights for all. Stan was the perfect man and after only one week of knowing him Patty knew he was it for her. 

Her father was wary of him at first but after a dinner of Stan being interrogated he was deemed suitable for casual dating but not as a husband. Apparently Stan was too politically minded, wasn’t manly enough with his curly hair and delicate eyes, and too contemporary in his opinions of family life. Stan had spent the dinner complimenting her parents on everything from their wallpaper to the brightness of their lightbulbs but apparently he wasn’t acceptable to marry. His opinion that women didn’t need to take care of their husbands by staying home to cook and clean hadn’t gone down well with her traditional mother and stating that gay couples should be allowed to marry almost gave her father a heart attack over his chicken soup. 

It was Stan’s devotion to Judaism and his family’s reputation that meant her father would allow her to continue dating him until she found a ‘better man’. Her father turned his nose up at Stan’s career aspirations and reaffirmed that his daughter needed a man who could actually provide for her, which Stan apparently could not do. Stan had left the dinner with a smile, even after being insulted for many hours, so Patty rewarded him with seeing her topless for the first time since they met three months previously. 

Carly and Patty’s other friends from college would tell her that Stan was too boring for her and they couldn’t understand how they had been together so long. Apparently Jessica (Patty’s friend from her art group that met up every Tuesday to drink wine and do watercolour paintings) had bet $10 that they’d break up before the end of the month and Samantha (a girl friends with Carly that wore too much lip-gloss and only ever talked about her fiance) had bet $20 that Stan would sleep with her once and leave her the next morning. 

None of that happened, of course, because Stan was a gentleman and the pair loved each other from the moment they met eyes. 

Stan would listen to her rants about Clinton and his ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ law and how women and people who weren’t white were still oppressed even if they could vote and get a job. He would listen as she spoke about sexism in education and how teaching history was just showing children what white men thought about past events. He would always listen and respond or take the time to do research and come back to discuss it later with her. He didn’t know much about gender inequalities but spent a couple of hours every week in the library reading about sexism and feminism in order to support Patty and even joined a movement against the discrimination of non-straight troops the day after she first told him about her relationship with Charlie. Apparently Stan hadn’t known much about gender and was confused by who Charlie was at first until he read Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Liberation from three years previously and educated himself in everything about gender and sexuality. 

Patty would listen to him as well. She would listen as he recalled protests that seemed to make no impact and how powerless and small he felt. She would listen as he spoke of his father who he felt had never loved him and how he could barely remember anything from his hometown. She had to do her own research as well when Stan had told her about how he liked the feeling of scratching deeply into his skin when he was anxious or sad. Patty had spent an entire night learning about depression and how it was an illness that requires treatment. She tried to find literature about how scratching until you bleed could be caused by depression but then she read one too many books about slitting wrists and overdosing and felt too uncomfortable to continue. She decided to hold him a little tighter, nuzzle her head further into his neck, and love him a little louder everyday. Patty vowed to comfort and protect Stan from himself until the day she died. 

They joined a group for Jewish students at their university because they never really crossed paths on campus due to Stan doing an accounting major and Patty being in education. The group was relatively small but they got along well and had a few laughs with each other. The readings and discussions would remind Patty of her father reading to her in bed as a child and it was amazing to see how passionate Stan was about topics like sustainability and justice. He would remain silent and listen to others before he bravely stood up and spoke eloquently with a deadpan delivery of facts and statistics that made her burn with pride everytime.

He had once listened to Michael (a short man studying business that always wore expensive shirts with stains on them) speak about why pollution wasn’t manmade and how recycling wasn’t important because there would always be more plastic to use. Michael tired himself out quickly and sat down with a triumphant smile but no one clapped for him. Stan then proceeded to raise his hand and speak for five solid minutes about the current scientific research into the ozone layer and global warming, and the law of Bal Tashchit, citing every point with a statistic or memorised line of scripture. Patty was slightly ashamed to admit that was one of the hottest moments of her adult life so far (all two years of it) and after that meeting she had let Stan go down on her for about an hour in his dorm room to celebrate. 

College wasn’t perfect but finishing a year before Stan made it easier to transition into adult life. She could still live through Stan as he pulled all nighters and went out with friends as she trained in the local elementary school and paid their bills with her father’s money. She had been warned that if Stan proposed her father would refuse to give her any money because she needed to marry a real man with an actual job. Patty never really understood why her father didn’t believe Stan could get a real job when he was studying accounting and already had an internship across the city from their shared apartment. Hearing about Stan’s day would allow Patty to forget she had to be a real adult as she listened to him complain about his boring professors and the price of pizza on campus. 

Her new job at Little River Elementary kept her busy during the day and lesson planning and homework marking kept her busy in the evenings. On slower weekends she’d sit with a glass of wine in her hand as she stuck fun stickers on her children’s work and drew smiley faces next to their doodles. Stan would spend hours watching her and would always comment on how cute she looked when she was concentrating and once he got bored he’d start a puzzle or read his nerdy little bird book. On those weekends she’d call them an old married couple and Stan would smile and pour her another glass of wine. 

However there were also weekends where they certainly didn’t act like they were elderly. After an early morning tumble in the sheets Stan would surprise her by taking her to bowling or roller-skating or take her bike-riding through the forest and ravishing her against a tree. He would give her piggybacks as they ran down hills or danced with her in the middle of the night outside a pizza place after having a few too many drinks (bought by Patty not Stan because he wasn’t yet 21). They’d wear each other’s clothes to turn heads from their annoying neighbours and they once shared a bottle of purple hair dye and ended the night with matching hair. They weren’t crazy or wild but they weren’t boring or dull, they were just Stan and Patty. 

When college became a memory instead of a reality they both started saving their money. Stan had been offered a full time position at his job and Patty was finally in charge of her own second graders so their income wasn’t bad. They had discussed moving out of their tiny apartment on the side of a busy road to start a life together somewhere calmer and with less noise. They searched for places near her parents but everything was too expensive and she didn’t want to have to go home and listen to them complain about Stan all the time so they widened their search. It took three years but they managed to save for a deposit on a three bed house in Traynor a few hours away from both their parents. 

Sharing a house meant learning each other all over again. Patty learned that Stan was even more of a neat freak than she had known and he had a strange obsession with lists and notes. He would fill notebook after notebook with descriptions of his favourite birds, his thoughts on the political climate, information about local preservation projects, and many corny, hurried notes about his love for Patty. He would randomly play records by new artists like Britney Spears or Usher (though he told everyone he hated them) and would wiggle his hips and bop his head as he cooked dinner for them. She learned he loved having his makeup done sometimes but refused mascara every time because ‘Baby-love, I trust you with all my heart but having a stick in my eye is a step too far’. They learned together what gas companies had the best deals and which brand of chocolate they both liked. They learned that too much vodka was a bad idea even on weekends and that they’d always have to flip a coin to decide who had to take the trash out or mow the lawn. Patty learned that she loved Stan with all her heart and Stan learned to appreciate Patty more and more everyday. It was a shame his parents didn’t have the same view of their relationship as the couple did.

She had met the Uris’ only once and it had not been great. Donald and Andrea were not a fan of her choice to go to college and they disliked her pierced ears as they apparently disrespected the body God gave her. Donald had told her that if God wanted holes in her ears then he would have put them there himself and she had bitten her tongue and smiled politely. Stan had been uncharacteristically quiet at dinner and had seemed uncomfortable talking unless his father directly addressed him. She saw him subtly scratch at the inside of his wrist when his father asked about his grades so she took his hand in hers and gave it a kiss. Stan’s mother seemed quite nice but never spoke a word to anyone at the table except to answer her husband’s questioning about how she had stayed pure until marriage. It made Stan curl in on himself and blush harshly but he didn’t object to the insinuation even though they hadn’t yet gone all the way. They were planning to wait until marriage because of Patty’s own guilt but they enjoyed each other in other intimate ways but obviously they didn't tell his parents that. It had been a painful dinner but the food had been tasty and the house hadn’t set on fire so it wasn’t exactly like the nightmares Patty had for a week before it. 

Stan had apologised profusely and had felt guilty enough to buy her a new necklace later that week. It was lovely but Patty told him it wasn’t necessary so she painted a watercolour of a chickadee for him to balance it out. Maybe her boyfriend’s parents hated her but at least she got a new silver plated necklace and a dazzling smile from her favourite person after giving him her gift. 

They weren’t in the best financial situation for a while. Their combined wages were enough to cover bills for the house but their weekly budget left little room for emergencies or eating out. Date nights got cheaper and they were more careful with their spending but they found some joys in eating crappy food and making homemade gifts for each other for Valentine’s Day and birthdays. Stan’s gym membership had to be cut and Patty secretly loved how squishy he got during that time, the cuddles were amazing. 

The money eventually evened out when Stan got a promotion to become an actual head accountant of the firm instead of just an assistant accountant. The extra money meant that Stan surprised Patty with tickets to Hawaii and booked a whole month off his job to take her away for the summer holidays. They left with little fanfare and didn’t even tell their families they were going away. On the fifth day of the trip the couple were sat on the sand with fruity cocktails and books in hand when they decided to do it. 

They knew their families would be furious with them. They knew Donald and Andrea and Ruth and Herbert would never forgive them and that gave them the final push. 

It took very little time to arrange a Jewish officiant and get some witnesses on the beach outside their beach house and they were officially married within the day. After almost six years they were finally getting married.

There had been no aisle for Patty to walk down, no chuppah above their heads, and no huge white dress, but they had broken a cocktail glass against the sand and exchanged the rings they’d found in the closest jewellery shop on the island. Stan cried through his improvised vows and promised to never hurt Patty and to love her with all his heart for the rest of his life. Patty had to wipe her eyes but she made it through telling him that she would protect and comfort him and cherish him until the end of time. The witnesses they’d found in town had shouted mazel tov as Stan and Patty shared their first married kiss and they smiled as the couple walked off the beach hand in hand. 

That night was spectacular and they had purposely been a little reckless in the hope of starting a family. They stayed in their bedroom for almost twelve hours (Stan had brought in food and water before they’d started in anticipation for a long night) and Patty fell even deeper in love with her loving and respectful husband. She could barely walk the next day and her whole body felt like melted chocolate as she stared into her new husband’s eyes in the morning. She thought the pleasure she felt that night had been medically impossible and she was sure he’d broken a record in how many times he tipped her over the edge. 

The rest of the holiday turned into their honeymoon and they spent their time drinking, shopping, and enjoying each other in the most intimate ways. She felt freer than a butterfly or a bird and prayed every night for her luck to continue far into their future. The weight of her ring made her smile and the sight of Stan’s slightly burned nose made her fill with joy because he was her husband and she was his wife. That was her red-nosed, frizzy-haired nerd and he always would be. 

They clinked their glasses of champagne together and prayed silently for their luck to continue.


	2. Perfection is Overrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patty and Stan both hated their first fight.
> 
> Maybe they'll never look at the spare room the same way again. Maybe nothing ever seems to go right for them. 
> 
> But they have each other and that's all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes before reading. 
> 
> This is a pretty sad chapter so please be careful. I promise to introduce other characters soon to make it more interesting.
> 
> Thank you for all the support so far, it means a lot :)

First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes a baby in a baby’s carriage.

Patty remembered chanting those words as a child and somehow it had ingrained inside her into adulthood. It was probably more to do with society pushing her into finding a man and having children young but the rhyme was still interesting to her.

Stan had quit his job at the firm and started his own accounting business. It started small but his expertise and trusting face had customers throwing themselves at him for help within months. The risk of quitting had kept Stan up at night and Patty had cleaned the scratches on his arm during the days. But it had been worth it. By 25 Stan had his own company and employed over twelve people at his office on the highstreet.

They were better off than they’d ever been. She was pleased to rub it in her father’s face when they would visit, remembering their conversation about Stan not being able to provide as a husband. Admittedly not inviting any of their family to their wedding had caused major conflict, but the money situation also caused some challenges.

Patty would insist on taking both their cars to visit family (her car and the Sedanley) just so they could show how far they’d come and how well they had smashed their parents' expectations. They were angry about them marrying so young even though both sets of parents had been even younger than them when they first got pregnant, a fact that none of them liked hearing over dinner.

And that was the next problem. Pregnancy. Children.

Patty had the names for her children picked out since she was eleven and Stan had always imagined their empty bedrooms filled with bright colours and piles of toys. They wanted at least one of each, a girl and a boy, but they didn’t mind how many children they eventually would have. Patty would sometimes have dreams about twins and triplets that would make her wake up disappointed and Stan would often stare at the baby aisles in stores with a far off expression.

Earlier in their relationship they had discussed colour schemes for the bedrooms and potential books they remembered from their childhood. They thought about whether they would raise their children Jewish or allow them to choose when they grew older, which involved weighing up if allowing them the choice would be worth their grandparents never speaking to them. Patty had shown Stan her baby pictures and talked about her old house and the flowers that always grew outside her childhood home. She showed him funny pictures of her hair in high school and the disgusting pattern of the bridesmaid dress she wore at age six to her aunt's wedding.

Stan had very little memories of his own childhood which always concerned Patty. It was often hard to understand what was happening in her husband’s head and she always worried about his sudden bouts of anxiety or depression and the loss of his early memories.

Stan told her about blurred memories of a quarry and smoking his first cigarette with a red headed girl in a sort of hideout that Stan described as dirty and full of spiders. She laughed as he described coughing so hard he threw up and how he hadn’t tried another cigarette since. Patty had already told him about what she used to get up to with Charlie but she didn’t tease the image of a choking younger Stanley even if she wanted to. He told her about vague memories of a group of friends and had sheepishly admitted he couldn’t even remember his own bar mitzvah.

Stan told her about his doubts on his fatherly abilities and his fear of becoming as strict and harsh as his own father. She had reassured him that he was so much more caring and loving than Donald Uris and how he made the children at her work smile everytime he came to visit.

Stan also told her about his hopes. He hoped for their son to be brave and humble and that their daughter be funny and confident. He hoped they had amazing friends that loved them and spent all day getting into trouble around the neighbourhood. She smiled as he excitedly explained how he hoped they’d love them as parents and start their own families one day so they could become the coolest grandparents in the whole of Georgia.

They spoke less and less about children as their marriage progressed though. The more negative test results and monthly bleeding, the less they hoped. Seeing the happy families at her work made Patty slightly bitter and the parents’ smiles made her jealous in a way she had never experienced before. Stan threw himself into work and would often fall asleep at his desk in their home office only awoken by Patty when she came to collect and deposit him in their bed late into the night. They were slowly giving up on their hopes.

It wasn’t like they weren’t trying. They were definitely trying.

Every single day they tried and every single month Patty was reminded of her baby-less state with a week of cramps. Patty kept up hope for a while and they would try at least three times on Saturdays which was something neither complained about and actively looked forward to. They had tried every position at every angle.

Their sex life didn’t completely surround getting pregnant but it was always on their mind after every time. Her Stan wasn’t the shyest behind closed doors and was actually quite a beast in the bedroom so she began to feel a lot more tired. Not that she was complaining, a woman getting off at least twice everytime was apparently rare according to her colleagues, but their sex life started to get tainted with sadness.

It didn’t help that their family and friends would constantly ask when they would have a kid which made Patty feel sick to her stomach. Having to lie and say they were focusing on their careers killed her a little each time and she would catch herself rubbing her stomach absentmindedly when she got home before her husband. It wasn’t anyone’s business about when they had children and that had caused the first real fight Stan and Patty ever had.

“I’m booking an appointment.” Patty had said dramatically as she rushed into the house. Stan trailed along tiredly behind her and closed their front door. “I can’t deal with them asking me about it every time we see them.”

Stan hung up his coat on the hook and lined his shoes up neatly against the wall. He sighed sadly as he loosened his tie and entered the living room with hands by his sides.

“Just ignore them, baby-love.” He replied as he joined her by the sofa where she was taking off her heels. “It doesn’t matter what they think.”

“Of course it matters.” She huffed as she flung her shoe onto the carpet. “They’re my parents and they’ve always wanted grandchildren.”

Stan collected her shoes and went to place them next to his in the hallway near the front door. His careful organisation was something she loved about her husband but in that moment it annoyed her even more.

“It’s not like Jacob is going to give them any.” She continued.

Jacob was Patty’s younger brother who had decided to rebel against the family and move to Canada to become an artist. She only heard from him at Hanukkah when he would remember to call even though he had left the faith.

Stan sat carefully down next to Patty on the couch and rolled his shoulders back. He always sat too stiffly when having dinner with Patty’s parents and that night was no different.

“We should want a child for us, Pats, not them.” He said quietly.

He watched as Patty rubbed her temples. She was tired from a long work week and frustrated that they could never have one normal dinner with her family without someone bringing up children.

“I do want a child, Stan, you know this.” She said sharply. Her head was pounding and she just wanted to go to bed. “Isn’t it pretty obvious with how much sex we have?”

Stan frowned deeply and crossed his arms on his chest. He soon moved them to his lap so as to not look intimidating but played with the tops of dress pants.

“You only want to have sex with me so you can get pregnant now?” Stan snapped quietly. She knew Stan was insecure about this stuff but she was too irritated to back down. He sometimes couldn’t believe Patty wanted him in that way even after constant reassurances that she thought he was the most attractive man in the world.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” She said with exasperation.

Stan looked down at his hands as he began to pick around his nails.“You didn’t deny it.” He instantly retorted.

“Stop being childish, you’re worse than the kids I teach.” She replied angrily with a roll of her eyes. She stood up and began walking angrily behind the sofa.

They had never gotten this angry with each other before and it made both their hearts hurt. That didn’t stop them continuing but it made them more aware of how easy it could be to hurt each other’s feelings.

“I still don’t understand why you’ve suddenly decided to make an appointment.” Stan huffed. They had given themselves a time-frame, they weren’t supposed to be worried for another half a year. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Well maybe I don’t want to wait another six months to find out what’s wrong with me.” Patty said through gritted teeth. Her skin felt hot and she felt tears behind her eyes.

Stan stared at her sadly. His frustration wasn’t with his wife but it was difficult keeping calm and controlled when he felt so strongly. Patty had often commented on how he would become numb when he felt too much and she could see him shutting down a little already.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, baby-love.” He replied, making red scratches around his nail beds.

Patty pushed a sharp breath out through her nose and crossed her arms. The pacing had stopped but she still was full of too much energy to stop arguing now.

“Well then, there’s something wrong with _you_ because I’m pretty sure sex is supposed to lead to a baby especially after years of trying.” Patty winced at herself in her own head knowing she was hurting Stan. She realised quickly that she hated arguing with her husband. How did couples even stay together if they argued like that all the time?

“So there’s something wrong with me now?” Stan responded angrily. “I didn’t realise you were a doctor.”

Stan didn’t even want to think about the disappointment he would be if there was actually something wrong with him so to hear his wife say that made him feel even worse. He prayed every night that they would get pregnant and that he wasn’t holding her back from having a family.

“I’m not a doctor but I want to go see one, Stanley. It’s my body and I can make an appointment if I want.”

“I know you can, Pats, but doing it because your parents are pressuring you shouldn’t be the reason.” Stan replied bluntly. He wiped the traces of blood from his nails on to his dress pants and vowed again to stop scratching whenever he felt something.

“What does the reason matter? I just want to find out why I’m not pregnant.” Patty snapped. She could feel the blood pounding in her head and was about three minutes away from calling the doctor then and there. “Unless that’s the real reason you don’t want me to see a doctor.”

“What reason?” Stan asked in an irritated tone.

“Maybe you’ve realised you don’t want kids with me anymore. Maybe you don’t want to find out I’m broken and can’t give you what you want?” She began pacing again as she ranted. All her insecurities were pouring out before she could stop herself. She knew deep down how much Stan wanted children and it would be fair if he wanted to leave her if she couldn’t get pregnant.

“When have I ever said that? You make me seem like such a monster.” Stan muttered quietly. He stood up and walked towards his wife who looked stressed and tired. “I’ll love you whatever happens and of course I want a child with you.”

The reassurance was nice but Patty was still decided. They were both too stubborn for their own good sometimes.

“Well I’m making the appointment for next Friday then, come if you want but I don’t care because I’ll be there no matter what.” She’d find out what her problem was even if it killed her. She would pay anything to help get pregnant so they could have their perfect family.

“I’ll be there, Pats.” Stan said as he offered a smile.

His cheeks were slightly red and he pushed her hair away from her face with a delicate hand as he kissed her forehead. Patty noticed the rawness of the skin on his fingers and her stomach dropped. This was her husband, they loved each other with everything they had, and she’d made him upset because she was stressed and still scared of her own father’s judgement.

Patty reached for his hands and kissed each nail. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched his beautiful face relax.

“Sorry, dove.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry too, baby-love.”

The doctors appointment had been a failure. They had both attended and had done all the needed tests. It took a few weeks for everything to come back and the phone call confirming that the pair were both healthy and definitely capable of reproducing came only a week later.

Patty was relieved that she wasn’t broken but she was frustrated and confused as to why the results were all so good yet she still couldn’t get pregnant. She thanked God in her prayers that night even though her heart wasn’t in it.

They had discussed going back to make another appointment but Stan had been reluctant to get off into a little plastic sample cup again and Patty didn’t really want to talk about the quality of their sex life with her doctor all over again.

They had left the appointment with leaflets and guides with ‘helpful tips and tricks’ to get pregnant. It had lovely statistics like 84% of couples will get pregnant after one year without contraception which made Patty feel even more like a failure.

The pair had sat in silence that Friday night ignoring the sounds of the game show playing on the television and thinking deeply. They turned to each other and smiled sadly. Patty shifted over to her husband and they curled together as they thought.

Stan traced the freckles on Patty’s arm whilst gently pressing his lips against her forehead as she gripped his waist tightly. Their breathing synced together and they both stared vacantly at the walls of their living room. Patty looked at the framed picture of their wedding day that they had hanged above the television and prayed silently. The bright smiles and tear stained cheeks on a background of sand and sea mocked them as the reflection showed the same tear stained faces but with stoic expressions and dull eyes.

They had been told that adoption and surrogacy were options they could think about for the future but they should continue trying and attempt to try more often when Patty was ovulating. Patty wasn’t sure how more often they could try because Dr. DeKrosky had told her regular sex meant being together two or three times a week and they were actively trying at least once every day (and even more on the weekends). She hadn’t gone into great detail with the doctor but he was obviously shocked by the frequency because apparently that sort of thing was supposed to taper off in a marriage.

After another month of failure the couple came to a conclusion.

If it happens, it happens but if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

They would concentrate more on their hobbies and jobs and finding time to spend time together.

Patty began getting commissions from local friends and families for her watercolours and Stan went bird-watching at least twice a week to clear his head. He would come home relaxed and excitedly tell her about every bird he had seen or heard and describe their feathers in great detail. He had his little black notebook where he jotted down notes and would check his large bird book that he’d had since childhood that he would cross reference with his notes. She found it incredibly cute even if she had no idea how he could remember so many Latin names for birds that all looked very similar to her.

Patty would sometimes surprise him by painting a bird he’d seen for the first time or one that caused his eyes to light up when he spoke about it. Stan’s home office was filled with her paintings and he’d take his favourite to hang in his actual office a few blocks away.

For Stan’s 26th birthday Patty bought him the new Power Mac G4 and celebrated by helping him set it up over a few glasses of wine. She also got him a black Pineider briefcase (that was way too expensive) and a silver necklace with a custom-made dove pendant that delicately sat between his pecs. He had kissed her passionately and turned around for her to attach the clasp behind his neck. She slowly kissed at his neck and ran her fingers through the curls at the back of his head that only got more perfect with age.

She teased him every time she found greying hair in his curls even when her own hair, if she left it undyed, would mostly be grey already. Her mother and father had been fully grey by the age of 30 and had obviously passed that down to her. Patty secretly hoped that Stan would never lose his hair in the way his own father had because she loved his curls too much. It cost them a fortune every month on special conditioners and hair oil but she could admit Stan’s hair had never looked better. He sometimes left his facial hair unshaven and his stubble would scratch at her thighs and give her sensitive reddening skin but she secretly loved that too. She wasn’t sure how secret she kept it though because every time Stan would skip shaving he’d always smirk at her knowingly.

The years before Patty turned thirty were distressing for her whenever she looked too closely in the mirror. It didn’t matter how many times Stan kissed the new lines on her eyes or the wrinkles on her forehead, she still hated them. The pouch on her stomach got even softer and her breasts began to sit lower on her frame. She longed to look like she did when they first met but Stan always reminded her that he loved her more and more everyday, not in spite of her changing looks but because of them.

She loved that her husband always found her beautiful despite what she felt about herself sometimes. It didn’t matter when she stopped shaving her legs regularly and he would feel her fuzzy skin under the covers on their bed. It didn’t matter when she never wore makeup anymore except for special occasions or even when she dropped food on her shirts and forgot to clean it off. And she fully believed it didn’t matter how much weight she put on or lost, her husband would always squish his face in her chest and stomach when they fell asleep.

She was the luckiest woman in the world and she truly believed that her husband felt the same about her.

She knew that it sometimes took her comforting touch or soft words to get him out of bed on his bad days. She knew he preferred showering with her so he could watch the soap run down her body and keep his mind focused instead of overthinking. Patty would give him massages when his shoulders got too tense and hold his hand when he became scared for a reason neither understood. She would always write cute little notes about how amazing he was and slip them into his work pants in the mornings and send flowers to his office to remind him of her love. There was one occasion she baked bird shaped cookies on a night he was up late in his office and his smile had been blinding. He had almost instantly picked her up, put a cookie into his mouth, and carried her to their bedroom to thank her.

On their fifth wedding anniversary they took a roadtrip to Florida to sit on the beach and drink the same rum-filled cocktails they had on their wedding day. They danced to Waterfalls by TLC, the song that was playing when they first met at that party, and sang badly in their hotel room later in the evening after a dinner of greasy pizza they’d ordered from room service. They exchanged gifts and kisses and fell into bed for a full day just like their wedding night.

It was also the first time she got out her new toy to satisfy her husband. He had shyly asked a few weeks previously about the idea of pegging and Patty had jumped at the idea. She had surprised him with it on their first night in their hotel room in Florida and they had enjoyed each other in a new way for hours. Stan loved feeling so treasured and cared for and Patty enjoyed watching her husband’s back dip and tense in pleasure under her as she brought him to the edge twice in a row, an ability that was getting progressively more difficult the older Stan got.

Florida gave them a break from their lives and they got to feel like teenagers again. Stan found a retro roller rink and an open-air butterfly house to create some new memories and they visited new bars and tried drinks they’d never heard of. Even after Patty had slathered sun lotion all over him, Stan still returned with a burnt nose even after living in the South for so many years.

They had more or less given up on the idea of children by the time they both hit thirty until one afternoon in September, a few weeks after their Florida trip, where Patty felt her heart leap in her chest.

She was very regular so when the end of the month came with no visit from ‘Aunt Flo’ she felt a sharp pain of excitement in her chest. She ignored it for a week before she awoke to an all encompassing feeling of nausea and had to run to the bathroom before even realising what was happening. The sickness lasted another week before Stan tentatively asked her about it with a slight hopefulness in his voice.

“It wouldn’t hurt to check.” He had said quietly.

That day was the slowest work day she had ever had. Each lesson she taught dragged and she was convinced her watch was broken by how slow the hours felt.

She drove her silver Chrysler 300 that Stan had gotten her for her 30th to the drugstore, after saying goodbye to the last child that left her classroom, and picked up three tests. She smiled awkwardly with the cashier and also bought a bottle of Dr Pepper and two KitKats to eat before dinner. There was no way she could wait to make dinner before doing the tests but she already felt hungry, the way she always did when she got nervous or stressed.

Patty would normally spend an hour in her classroom after the school day ended to prepare lessons and mark work but that day she had raced to the store almost instantly. It meant that she was home about an hour before her husband and their house felt unusually quiet, adding to the stress and anticipation she felt as she took off her shoes and jacket at the door.

She chugged some of her drink to make sure she needed to go and took the tests in their en suite. She hated the process and had to wash her hands three times after accidentally peeing all over herself trying to aim at the stick in her hand. She thought about peeing into a cup and putting the stick in but couldn't wait that long to find a suitable cup from the kitchen. She placed them all on the counter once they were done and sat down against the door to start the countdown.

She read the boxes of the tests and realised they all had different timings and indicators. The first would be ready in four minutes and would show one or two pink lines, the next would be ready a minute after and show a plus or minus, and the final (and definitely most expensive) was a new digital test that actually said the word pregnant or not pregnant but wouldn’t be ready until seven minutes after she first used it.

She stared at her watch (the one Stan had bought with his first paycheck after his promotion at his previous job) and breathed in time with the seconds she waited.

She wouldn’t let herself hope until she reached for the first test after four whole minutes of silence.

With a shaking hand she picked up the stick with some tissue and stared at the lines.

The lines. The two pink lines.

She scrambled to find the correct box and check the meaning of the lines. She knew before she checked but staring up at her was a positive pregnancy test.

One out of three was positive.

Patty didn’t let herself hope yet. She knew about false positives and waited another 60 seconds for the next one.

She held her breath when the time was up and carefully lifted the second test.

A plus sign.

Plus meant positive. Two out of three.

She paced around the small room and ignored her reflection in the mirror over the sink. She didn’t want to see the spark of hope in her eyes until it was three for three.

Patty ran her hand through her hair that had been ruined by the humidity in the air. She scrunched her eyes up and felt the desire to have Stan by her side.

She checked her watch and realised she’d have to wait almost a half hour for her husband to be home and that her final test was ready.

Patty reached for the test and closed her eyes. Patty could feel her hands shaking around the stick that held the results of her future.

They had been waiting years for this and it was the job of a stupid bit of plastic to deliver the most important news of her entire life.

With a final breath she opened her eyes.

Pregnant.

Stan had cried when he got back and found her still stood in disbelief in their bathroom. He had picked her up and spun her around in pure joy. They'd kissed for what felt like hours stood in that bathroom.

They had gone straight to the store to buy every vitamin and supplement they could find and Stan bought her every pack of KitKats they had to celebrate. She had the urge to buy a bottle of champagne but realised quickly she was going to be sober for nine long months. She would never complain though. She would give up one of her legs for nine months if it meant she could keep her unborn child safe.

They booked an appointment with the doctor with smiles on their faces and Stan took three days off from work to start finding paint samples and new toys for one of their empty bedrooms. He bought pale yellow paint and found some butterfly stickers to decorate with in the first baby store and had bought every bird themed outfit or toy he could find in the second.

Patty beamed in every class and even her students commented on her happiness. The flutter of excitement she felt every time she thought about being pregnant countered the nausea she felt every morning and the constant fear of keeping herself safe and healthy.

They decided not to tell anyone until they had the first scan but some of her colleagues had guessed when they saw her smiling at nothing at lunch. She didn’t tell them about the previous problems they had getting pregnant or their immense relief that neither had anything wrong with them.

The first doctors appointment had been booked for a week's time and they were going to ask for extra scan photos to surprise their parents with the next time they met for dinner. Stan had started on painting the bedroom and Patty bought herself pregnancy books and magazines to read in the evenings. Stan would do puzzles and listen as she read information about fetus sizes and birth and parenting styles and she would catch him smiling to himself happily.

They felt like they were living in a perfect bubble. Every challenge they encountered was easily forgotten in their blissful state. A difficult customer at work, Stan smiled and thought about his beautiful wife at home with their future child curled inside her. An annoying parent who complained about everything and thought their child was an angel even after he’d bitten another student, Patty sat relaxed and thought about how amazing their child was going to be and how they’d feel just as protective.

Their bubble was eventually burst.

Their hearts got shattered and their dreams destroyed.

It had been only three days before their first appointment when life decided to punish them for finally feeling happy and complete.

Patty had felt grateful for her first morning without throwing up since this all began and allowed herself an extra ten minutes snuggled in bed next to her husband. She’d pushed her face into her husband’s back with her arms around his waist and laughed softly at his quiet snores. Their alarm blared after a while and Stan turned around to greet her.

They kissed sweetly for a while, ignoring their morning breaths, before Stan ran his hand across the outside of her thigh. She sighed happily and moved her leg up further into his hand when she felt it.

Her lips stopped moving against his and she quickly threw the covers off her body. Her heart shattered and her stomach dropped as she saw the pool of blood staining their sheets and her underwear.

Stan ripped his hand away from her thigh and pushed himself up with his arms. Her breathing began to quicken as she watched her husband’s face drain of colour.

She felt tears flow down her cheeks as she got up and ran towards the bathroom without looking back at the mess on their bed. She sat down onto the toilet and saw as some blood dripped out in sickening clumps. She gagged and sobbed into her hands.

Stan walked slowly into the room and knelt down next to her. The only sound was sniffles and hiccups of crying from both of them as they sat in shock and horror.

The bleeding eventually stopped.

Patty knew some bleeding was normal in pregnancy. But it shouldn’t have been that thick and it shouldn’t have been so much that it created a huge stain on the covers and down her legs. It was different to period blood and was certainly the sign of her life shattering.

Stan had offered to call an ambulance, shocked by the blood loss, but Patty had refused. She knew what had happened, there was nothing they could do.

They became ghosts for weeks after. Stan had neatly packed up all the new items in the spare room and placed the box in the attic. The room remained half painted in yellow and he shut the door silently.

Stan’s scratching started again but Patty found it hard to reassure her husband when she felt so empty. How could she tell him everything would be alright when their lives had fallen apart so suddenly? They had gotten their hopes up and watched as they bled out onto their silk sheets and down the inside of her legs.

Neither could find the courage to cancel the appointment so they had to field off phone calls from her doctor and ignore the pitying looks from him when they finally went to check she didn’t have anaemia from the excessive blood loss.

She took off many days from work because she couldn’t face even the thought of a child or the looks she knew her colleagues would give her when they saw her broken expression. Stan spent days where he wouldn’t get out of bed and would leave his assistant in charge of the office and other days working from the moment he awoke to the moment he collapsed in his chair over his computer.

Patty stopped painting and Stan stopped bird watching and they spent most nights silently watching old game shows on their television and holding each other tightly. Patty couldn’t even look at her stomach in the mirror and Stan became quieter and quieter. He would barely speak a word and was in his head most of the time even when sobbing into her chest.

It took two months of walking around as shells of themselves before they decided to be intimate with each other again. It had been the longest time they hadn’t been since they first met and the release they felt as they fell back in bed was freeing in its own way.

They eventually went back to their jobs and hobbies and carried on as if nothing happened. They didn’t tell their families and didn’t even comment when anyone would ask when they were going to have children.

On one night Patty had researched adoption but had quickly stopped when she thought about getting her hopes up again to just have them squashed. She asked herself how she would live if they applied to adopt and didn’t get accepted or if they connected with a child and they didn’t choose them back. They would never recover.

Patty fell back on her faith to pick herself back up during that time. She was stronger with faith behind her so she resumed her three prayers a day she used to do in childhood.

She thanked and praised God for the life she had and her wealth and body and mind and prayed for a child every time. Patty made sure to say blessings before every snack she ate instead of just evening meals and bought a new scarf with small pale blue feathers on a white background to wear at temple.

She researched psalms to say during pregnancy, despite not carrying, and practised them before bed every night. It began ‘May God answer you in your day of trouble’ which Patty interpreted as God supporting her through her miscarriage and not the traditional view of it meaning God will guide one through childbirth.

Stan would watch as she bowed her head and recited the phrases, attempting to get closer with the being who could create anything. She put her full faith into him creating them a child somewhere or some when for them. She saw more good in the world when she would reflect in prayer and appreciated the ones she loved even more than she thought she could. Maybe God couldn’t give her a child but at least it gave her Stanley and her family.

Patty gave the temple money every week for their daycare and made sure to talk with each of her children at work with the most care she could. She bought a spider plant and decorated its pot with doves and butterflies to prove she could nurture something. The choice of a spider plant was due to them being relatively easy to grow and the lady in the shop had told her small spiderettes could be cut from the mother plant. She smiled thinking about being a grandmother of a plant but didn’t mention it to Stan in fear of upsetting him. She named her Faige (meaning bird in Yiddish) and spoke to her everyday. Stan never teased Patty for it and she once even saw him tell the plant about the blue jay he had seen that morning.

Stan had begun therapy and been actually diagnosed with depression. All of Patty’s research proved correct and he was told he needed to learn new techniques to counteract his self harm tendencies. He was also told he was borderline OCD caused by anxiety stemming from his childhood but Stan decided that he didn’t believe the therapist. He told Patty that he hadn’t even mentioned his childhood to Dr. Ryan because the memories were so blurred so she must have just guessed the origins of his issues. He agreed with the depression and anxiety and tried out the techniques but refused the OCD diagnosis.

Patty researched the disorder and lots of Stan’s previous behaviour began to make more sense. Whenever he was stressed he would arrange every item in their kitchen cupboards in size order and make sure every pillow and cushion was symmetrical on the couch. He would obsess over thoughts so much that she could see the anxiety in his eyes and almost immediately he would repeatedly check every lock in their house even though he wasn’t a paranoid person and he knew their neighbourhood was very safe. Everything had to be just right with him, which she obviously didn’t mind and in fact loved about her husband, but Stan apparently didn’t think OCD had anything to do with it.

Maybe it was just his personality. He might just like being neat and his things being orderly and Patty wasn’t a professional so couldn’t make that judgement. He knew his own mind and Patty supported her husband but tried to encourage techniques generally used for someone with OCD like trying interrupting or directing his patterns. Patty worried that Stan might think she would judge him for having OCD because, as he liked to say, ‘I’m not that crazy, baby-love, don’t worry’, but she didn’t push it. She would remind him of her love and hold his hand as he meditated or tried yoga.

Everything that Patty used as a distraction from their failure to have children became easier over time and she began to fully enjoy life again.

She had her faith, her husband, her wonderful job, and a future of possibilities and she was grateful. She may never enter the half-painted spare room or look through the toys and clothes in the attic again but she could live everyday with optimism.

She still found the world beautiful and watched it in awe but realised it wasn’t perfect and it may never be, but that was alright. It didn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful or without pain to be awe-inspiring. It could just be what it was and she could be happy with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: miscarriage, fertility problems, references to self harm
> 
> Feedback would be great :)


	3. Fortune Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan gets a phone call which disrupts their comfortable, happy life and Patty finally gets to meet the Losers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been deliberately quite vague with Patty's appearance because I think it's best if everyone imagines her the way they want to. I've seen loads of different headcannons like POC!Patty and blonde!Patty and I think she can look however you want her to so the slight vagueness is intentional.
> 
> There are elements of this from the book but it mainly follows similarly to the movie (but with our favourite couple added in). 
> 
> *Mentions of alcohol consumption*

As she approaches forty, Patty decides to stop dyeing her hair. She’s old now and proud of how far she’s come and Stan always tells her she’ll look even more attractive with grey hair.

There's wrinkles around her eyes and sun spots on her shoulders but her husband loves her just the same. Nothing's perky anymore and her feet always ache but her Stanley doesn't care. He still massages her feet every week and they are just as active in bed as when they were in their twenties. They still dance around their kitchen to TLC and still spoil each other with gifts at every opportunity. They've grown older together and love each other more every day. 

She looks more like her late mother now than ever before and she knows it makes her father wince when they visit him in his care home. Stan’s parents were gone many years before hers and she holds him and comforts him every Sunday when they visit their graves. Patty’s brother moved to Europe to marry a man he met online and he sent photos of their ceremony in Italy to them as well as pictures of any bird he sees even when it's just a pigeon. They have a very small family now but Patty is grateful for her father and Jacob and her Stan.

Patty's retired from teaching and spends most of her days painting for different projects. The one at the moment is a watercolour collection for the local hospital to hang in the children's ward of images of monkeys and dolphins to bring smiles to their faces. The years of practice have meant that they don’t take too long to complete but keep her busy enough to not get bored during the day. 

They've built a wonderful life together and they are financially very comfortable. Patty still looks back to the early days and remembers scraping up enough money to eat out once a month and having to knit Stan a new sweater instead of buying one. 

Stan's business grew and he now had no real daily responsibilities at work. He sometimes walks around the office looking intimidating in his gold rimmed glasses that Patty suggested getting after he could no longer read his favourite bird book without squinting. His staff are competent and easy-going and he trusts them to get their work done but secretly loves being the big boss. He employs lots of interns in memory of his first job and pays everyone a fair wage with regular bonuses. 

It gives them lots of time for travelling and cuddling which are Patty's favourite activities and she finally feels complete and comfortable in her life. She has her amazingly wonderful husband and a quiet, peaceful life and she's eternally grateful they are living in their happily ever after. 

Evenings are calm and warm and Patty knows she spends too much time online but she forgives herself for it after a glass of wine. She scrolls through her laptop on the kitchen counter looking for new recipes to try when she sees an advertisement for a holiday in Argentina. She watches Stan fiddle with a piece of a puzzle contemplating its position in the jigsaw with a determined expression as she clicks the link to the travel site. 

The Buenos Aires flights and hotel for two weeks leaving next week stare back at her. She smiles softly and checks the reviews before asking her husband. 

Of course he agrees and she happily types in her details on the site. She has new sandals upstairs she could bring and a straw hat her Stan bought her last summer, almost a year ago now.

“Stanley Uris speaking.” She hears as her husband answers his phone, she hopes it’s not an emergency at work, no one normally calls at this time. 

It’s late enough in the evening for the call to be strange so Patty moves towards the sofa to watch Stan nervously babble and walk towards their window. He is definitely nervous, he looks outside the window to calm himself with the sights of birds even though it’s getting dark. He stumbles over his words and Patty suddenly feels terrible for him. She only ever sees Stan like this when he would talk with his father and it can’t be him on the phone so she watches with trepidation. 

“What about the others, what if they don’t come and-” 

She watches his hands tense at his sides and she wishes to smooth out his cardigan and run her fingers through his hair to calm him. 

“Well, uh… yeah, I would need to do a few things-” 

Whoever was talking on the other end kept interrupting him and she felt frustration that her Stan wasn’t being listened to. It couldn’t be anyone from the office because they wouldn’t dare to speak to the big boss like that and they barely have any family left to deliver bad news. 

Patty thinks for a moment her husband has been hiding some shady past and has been summoned to murder someone or sell drugs or get rid of a body. It’s probably just Stanley’s anxious personality rubbing off on her, her friends always say that they’re basically the same person now. 

He silently lowers the phone from his face and hangs his head. 

“Dove?” She asks softly as she approaches him. 

He takes a deep, shaking breath and closes his eyes tightly. She watches as he pats a hurried rhythm with his fingers on his side and shakes his head minutely, making his curls bounce across his face. The tapping is to stop the urge to hurt himself and Patty feels her heart hurt in her chest at the action. 

She brings her arms around his waist from behind as he starts to breathe quicker. The silence hurts her because she knows there are thousands of thoughts flying through his head that he can’t get out. She has always found it hard to understand Stan when he gets in his head and seeing the anxiety and fear radiating from him and not having a clue what it’s about is heartbreaking to her. 

“Whatever it is, we can get through it together.” Patty says whispering into his shoulder blade from behind. She thinks about having to hide a body with her husband or join the mafia for him and realises she would absolutely do anything to help him. “We can do it, dove.” 

Stan begins to sob with his head hanging low. His shoulders shake and he struggles for air as he reaches his breaking point. 

Patty holds him as his legs give out and they both crumble to the floor. She rocks him slowly and remembers all the other times she’s held him together like this. 

She remembers when Stan’s mother had gotten sick and never recovered and when his father forgot his own son’s name for the first time; the long nights of tears and cuddles. She had held him then and gripped his hand at their funerals and stroked his hair when he used his inheritance to help build a new bird sanctuary just outside of town. 

Stan dedicates a lot of his time and money on the sanctuary and Patty secretly thinks he’s more proud of it than his own successful business. The birds there are all rescued or endangered and the place brings in little profit from the public but Stan loves it anyway. Patty sometimes walks hand in hand around the sanctuary with Stan as he talks about every bird, each one apparently has a very distinct personality and special identity. Stan told her one night about his guilt that some of the birds will never be released again due to their injuries but Patty just strokes his hair and reassures him that he's doing the right thing. 

Patty had held him when the financial crisis of 2008 had crippled his accounting company for a while and he had to let off some of his best workers and the guilt ate him up for weeks. She had always been there and was going to do it now. She will support him through anything, whether it be legal or not, ethical or not, or even something horrible enough that could make him break down like this. 

It takes a while but eventually they make it to the couch with two mugs of hot chocolate (with a little amount of rum in them) and they curl up against each other. 

For the next few hours Patty gets told a magical story that horrifies her and she suddenly notices the old scars that frame her husband’s face for the first time even after spending a lifetime staring at him. 

She gets told about a ragtag group of friends that loved each other and had a special bond unlike anything he’d ever known. Her straight-laced, dry-witted husband tells her about a shapeshifting clown that lurked in sewers and killed many children but no one noticed. He stares deeply into her eyes as he tells her about his first crush and first kiss and all the other memories he had forgotten and could never tell her about until now. 

Stan distracts himself from the story of the clown by telling her about a boy with straight brown hair and beautiful features who he had secretly loved for about a year in middle school. Stan remembered him having a fast bike and a cute little stutter but not his name or anything of real substance. 

He tells her about another boy who had the opposite personality to himself and who was loud and crass but was secretly very sensitive underneath it all. She watches him laugh as he recalls his first kiss with said friend and how neither were thinking of each other and how messy and uncoordinated it was. Apparently Stan’s lip had gotten caught in the boy’s braces and the blood had stained his Hawaiian shirt so badly he had to throw it out. 

Stan still can’t name anyone except Mike Hanlon who he describes as one of his heroes who was selfless and brave and went through so much at such a young age. It was Mike that just called and he had apparently asked Stan to return to his hometown to defeat the clown one last time. 

Patty is sceptical as she watches Stan scratch at his wrists as he describes the deep fear he feels in every part of his body. 

“I can’t go back, can I?” Stan begs her with his eyes for Patty to tell him to stay. “It’s stupid, right?” 

Patty takes a moment to collect everything she had just heard and the way her Stanley looks terrified but hopeful and she decides to believe everything. She will always support him and, if that means believing in alien clowns and walking straight into danger (or straight into a sewer in this case), she will do it with her head held high. 

They book flights from Atlanta to Bangor for early the next morning and pack small bags before they sleep. Stan refuses to be left alone in any room which results in a shared shower and Patty watching him pee as she brushes her teeth before bed. He forgoes shaving and looks sick at the sight of his razor. 

Patty subtlety throws it in the trash after seeing that look and something deep inside tells her they had just avoided something terrible. She sends a small prayer to God to thank him for the intuition and for luck in their adventure tomorrow. 

The couple don’t sleep that night and it’s painful to be at the airport so early without rest so it’s unsurprising that they instantly fall asleep on the plane. Flying isn’t that nerve-racking to Patty but she still prays on take off and thanks God quietly when they land without problems. Stan buys them coffees from the small shop at the airport to wake themselves and they set off. 

They hire a rental and head towards Derry but arrive hours before the arranged dinner so Stan decides to take her on a tour. They park the car in an empty lot and take off on foot. 

The town looks abandoned to Patty yet she’s seen many people around the streets. It’s like she’s watching a film where people only exist where you can see them. 

The man across the road outside of a small ice cream parlor looks like he’s never moved from that position, Patty was sure if she gets close enough there will be dust on his shoulders. His hair and clothes come from a time that reminds her of her own childhood, and his expression is too neutral to be natural. 

Despite the odd feeling, Patty loves seeing where Stan grew up. Her husband’s eyes light up with new memories and he excitedly tells her all about them.

“I loved biking down this hill, I felt on top of the world when we’d rush towards the bottom.” 

“There’s a secret clubhouse in those woods over there. I can’t remember where exactly but maybe the others will and I can show it to you.” 

“This is where I had my sixth birthday party and my father bought me my bird book.” 

Patty enjoys hearing the excitement in his voice and happily skips along after him as they walk around the town. She sees nerves bubble in his voice as he passes certain points but she doesn’t comment, he’ll tell her in his own time. 

It doesn’t take long before it’s time to meet the others. She feels uncharacteristically anxious and slightly intimidated by the thought of meeting her husband’s most beloved friends. She wants to be strong for Stan and also make a good first impression with those that mean so much to him. 

They wait in their rental until they see a man arrive at the front of the restaurant. He stands and looks down at his watch and the empty road in front of him. The building of the restaurant looks ancient and she has little enthusiasm about the quality of the food, but at least it looks busier than the rest of the town. The man (‘that’s Mikey, Pats’) looks just as Patty had imagined, strong and calm with kind eyes and an open body. 

She gives one last smile to her husband and opens the door to step out into the evening air. She hadn’t thought about the weather too much when she packed in a panic last night so her thin cardigan gives little protection from the cool air of Maine. She knows Stan would have offered his jacket but he needs all the protection he can get right now and she knows how his skin sometimes feels ice cold when he’s scared. 

Patty introduces herself to Mike and they go sit inside the restaurant. Mike looks relieved to see them and visibly calms when Stan gives him a hug. She learns that Mike is a history buff and they spend a while discussing history education in schools and how Patty had once taught the children at her school about Native Americans and gotten reprimanded for it. They have more in common than she expected and they both share a love for fantasy books and house plants. She loves him.

Another man arrives after a while and Mike stands up and runs to him instantly. Their hug lasts a little too long and it makes Patty smile. Reunions always bring back old memories but maybe they could make some new ones. Mike hadn’t mentioned a significant other in their conversation and she hopes this other man is single too but the ring on his finger says otherwise. She’s getting too involved in her husband’s friends’ private lives already, but she does have 27 years to catch up on. 

The man, William but please call me Bill, introduces himself and joins the table. He has short, brunette hair and an air of leadership even with his small stature and ugly plaid shirt. Patty grins at Stan as she realises who this is. 

“It’s not everyday I get to meet my husband’s first crush.” She says innocently with a smirk already on her face. She’s shaking Bill’s hand when she hears Stan drop his phone to the floor. He had been showing Mike pictures of their wedding when it fell and she hopes it didn’t break on the hardwood floor. 

Bill’s eyes widen and he pulls his hand from hers to turn to look at Stan. The blush on her husband’s face makes her giggle and she loves this reunion already. 

They don’t talk about it and instead find their seats. Mike and Bill sit next to each other and begin talking quietly to themselves, Bill still looks very shellshocked and Patty watches as old memories unlock in his head. Stan and Patty take seats next to each other opposite to the other pair leaving two seats free either side. Mike had moved another chair over to the table as soon as they’d walked inside the restaurant. 

Patty sees a man arrive in the reflection of the tacky fish tank and turns in her seat to greet him. He looks nervous and mutters quickly to a bored-looking waitress until his eyes meet Mike’s. 

“Holy shit.” The man says poetically. 

As the four friends embrace she laughs a little at the height differences, Mike towers over the others, especially Bill.

The new man introduces himself as Edward Kaspbrak and Stan asks him what happened to his nickname. 

“No one’s called me Eddie for years, I’m an adult now.” He says with sadness in his voice. His shoulders seem tense and he keeps finding eye contact a bit difficult especially with Patty but it might just be because she’s a stranger. 

Edward (or Eddie according to everyone at the table) takes a seat next to Stan leaving one chair between himself and Mike. Patty asks him about his journey and she’s not surprised to know he comes from New York as she can hear a hint of an accent in his voice when he forgets to be anxious. 

Eddie keeps looking over to Bill when he isn’t looking and he seems to see the closeness of him and Mike like Patty just had. They discuss their respective journeys and the others are surprised to hear how early Patty and Stan had arrived. Mike is disappointed they hadn’t come to meet him earlier but Stan simply states that he couldn’t remember where his farm was and had no idea where he lives now. 

As the group talks, Eddie remains quiet and begins bouncing his leg under the table. He has the same look that Bill had and Patty assumes him to be flooding with too many memories. It doesn’t look like a good feeling and she watches him scrunch his eyes up in stress. 

A sudden bong sounds behind Patty after a few moments and she turns in alarm. She’s greeted with three ridiculously hot people and one proclaims:

“This meeting of the Losers’ Club has officially begun.” 

The others get up quickly from their chairs- all except Stan who sits with an overwhelmed expression. Patty smiles at the group hug and places her hand on her husband’s thigh. They meet eyes and she nudges her head towards the group. She says a small ‘c’mon’ and pulls him up to join the others. 

She watches from the outside as the seven people embrace happily. Patty smirks at the man with glasses who looks bewildered by Eddie being so close and at the other new man who can barely hide his absolute delight at the red-head putting her arm around his waist. Stan is smiling and his eyes are wet when they release each other. 

“And who is this?” The tall man with glasses and curly, black hair asks. He takes Patty’s hand and kisses the back of it but looks towards Stan. “Who’d Staniel Urine sell his soul to to get a woman like this?” 

Patty laughs at his overthetop charm and shakes her head happily at his comment. Stan crosses his arms silently and raises his right eyebrow and the man lets go. 

“Hands off my wife, asshole.” Stan says with a smile as they sit, the man obviously taking the seat next to Patty. 

“I’m Richie Tozier but you can call me your next husband.” He says flirtatiously with his hands resting under his chin, he doesn’t try to sound genuine and smiles teasingly as he watches Stan frown. Even though Richie looks strangely panicked behind the eyes, he seems to be trying to make everyone at the table laugh anyway. 

The new woman slaps lightly at his arm and Richie turns away from Patty. “Don’t tease them, Rich, you’ve not even asked her name.”

“Hi, I’m Beverly.” She says and leans over Richie to shake her hand. “Ignore Richie, we all do.”

She hears Stan laugh beside her and she is surprised by the softness of Beverly’s hands. 

“What’s with all the name changes?” Bill asks from across the table. “First Edward and now Beverly.” 

“What’s it to you, Mr. William Denbrough?” Richie counters. “I don’t see B-B-Big Billy written on your books.” 

Mike laughs louder than anyone and Bill stares at him in betrayal. Patty suddenly recognises the name and looks at her husband in shock. He shakes his head with a smile and Patty thinks about all the William Denbrough books she has at home. She’s never particularly liked them, especially the questionable endings, but she owns every book and never knew why.

“I’m Ben,” The final man says politely, interrupting the start of an argument between Bill and Richie. “It’s lovely to meet you.” 

Ben seems like a sweetheart and looks at everyone with such love in his eyes. Patty instantly likes him because, despite him looking like some Greek god, he seems genuinely polite and kind. 

“Hello everyone.” She starts. Patty doesn’t normally get shy but having all of her husband’s greatest friends staring at her makes her feel slightly insecure. Stan takes her hand in his and smiles proudly. “I’m Patricia but just Patty is fine.” 

There’s a collection of ‘hellos’ and ‘nice to meet yous’ and one ‘welcome Patty-Cakes’ and she begins to feel more comfortable.

It takes a while for them all to choose what they’re going to eat but takes no time at all for everyone to agree to buying a round of shots to calm their nerves. Eddie seems slightly nervous as he looks at the menu and even more nervous when the shot glasses are distributed. His phone also keeps going off in his pocket and with every beep it makes, he looks more and more visibly anxious. She hopes he feels better once the food arrives. 

“Wait! Let’s talk about the elephant not in the room…” Richie starts. It interrupts everyone’s conversations and all eyes to turn to him. “Bennifer? What the fuck man?” 

Ben holds his beer tightly and looks down nervously. He stumbles through a reply and everyone starts commenting on his new look. Stan had described him as a chubby kid and he now looks like a model so she can guess why everyone’s surprised. Ben doesn’t seem to enjoy the attention though so Patty doesn’t comment and just listens. 

“You’re hot.” Richie says a little tipsily with Eddie nodding in agreement. Ben’s blush fills his face and he looks towards Bev. They make eye contact and then shyly look away.

Richie keeps making strange remarks about him and Bev steps in to stop him taking it too far. Ben looks at her with gratefulness and starts asking about Stan and Patty. 

“Alright, please, come on, are we going to ask Stan about Patty or what?” 

“Don’t bring me into this.” Stan comments with contempt and a sip of his drink.

They all grumble but stop the teasing. The waitress quickly arrives with plates and the table gets loaded up. 

Once everyone’s dishes arrive, Patty says a quiet blessing and Stan stares at the rest of the table with a look challenging them to even try and take a bite before she’s finished her prayer. 

Everyone starts eating when she finishes and Patty starts putting together the stories Stan told her about a group of outcasted children together with the faces at the table. She looks at Beverly and sees her and Stan sharing a cigarette as teenagers and looks at Richie and realises that this was the boy Stan had his first kiss with.

“Stan’s told me a lot about y’all.” Patty offers as she gets her chopsticks settled in her hand. The conversation had gotten slightly awkward after Mike had asked about Beverly’s husband and Bill had asked about Eddie’s wife. Their reactions hadn’t been amazing and it left a strange air at the table. 

“Oh yeah?” Mike offers. “All good I hope.” 

“Of course.” Patty says, picking up some rice. “Stan told me about all your little adventures. I particularly liked finally finding out about his first kiss.”

Richie suddenly breathes in whilst drinking and begins coughing loudly. 

They all look between the two as Richie catches his breath. Stan keeps a neutral face but has a small smirk as he watches Richie wipe at his chin. 

“You two?” Eddie asks in disbelief, words falling clumsily out of his mouth. Stan nods and continues to eat his food. “You kissed? When was this?” 

Richie begins to blush and refuses to look over at Eddie or Stan. Patty feels a little sorry for bringing it up as she sees how Richie is reacting. She thought they’d all known but, judging by everyone’s shocked faces, they obviously hadn’t.

“This is the best day of my life.” Beverly says quietly and everyone begins laughing. The awkward atmosphere dissipates slightly as they all start asking questions to the pair. 

Stan answers calmly as Richie orders another round of shots from a nearby waitress. His hand shakes as he holds it up to get her attention and his glasses do little to hide his wide eyes. The rest of the table turns to listen to Stan’s explanation. 

“It was terrible," Stan says bluntly but with a smile. “We had no idea what we were doing.” 

Ben is smiling sweetly at the story but Beverly is laughing so hard she can’t even hold her chopsticks anymore. Bill is still looking between Stan and Richie in disbelief and Eddie looks as if his whole life philosophy has just changed. 

“There was so much blood.” Richie says in a surprisingly quiet voice for a man his size and with his personality. She remembers Stan telling her about Richie being secretly sensitive underneath his funny man persona and feels a little more guilty about embarrassing him. 

“Blood?” Eddie asks with concern fear in his voice. “Why the hell was there blood?”

“Surely you couldn’t have been that bad at kissing?” Bev adds from next to Richie. 

Stan continues with the story about their braces-filled kiss but leaves out the fact that Richie had cried straight after. He probably doesn’t want to acknowledge how they were practising for their respective crushes seeing as they were both at the table, and Patty’s glad he didn’t embarrass Richie too much. It breaks some of the remaining tension at the table so they start to talk more freely. The alcohol was probably also helping. 

Richie is on his third glass before Eddie even finished his first and Ben hasn’t really touched his food. Mike still looks anxious and bewildered that everyone is here and Stan has already begun tapping rhythms onto his lap. 

“What about a game?” Patty suggests. The group perks up and Richie empties his drink. 

“A drinking game, Pats?” Richie asks as he winks at her. “I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

Stan scowls at Richie, the same way he has whenever Richie started talking to her this evening, and Mike asks about what game Patty wants to play.

“How about two truths and a lie?” Patty proposes in a smaller voice than usual. It was normally Stan that's the shy one but this event is too strange for her to be feeling her usual confident self. “It’ll be nice to get to know y’all a little better.” 

“You have to finish your drink if Patty-cake guesses it right.” Richie adds, making the innocent icebreaking activity into a drinking game. Patty likes Richie’s ridiculous personality and could see why Stan called him his best friend.

Thus starts the beginning of the game. Bill volunteers to start. 

“Number one…” He says loudly, for such a short man he had definitely drank way too much and the slur in his voice gives it away very obviously. “I have three cats, I’ve never seen titanic, and... I, um, I can speak German.” 

“You can barely speak English, B-B-B-Billy.” Richie teases as he chews a piece of pork obnoxiously. “And titanic is boring anyway, you’re not missing much.” 

“Patty’s supposed to guess, dickhead.” Eddie says harshly. He looks at Richie with exasperation but they smile at each other with teasing grins.

Bill finishes his drink off anyway and looks around for a waiter to get another.

“My turn.” Bev says. She rests her elbows on the table and holds her bottle of beer with delicate fingers. “My favourite colour is purple, I used to have a pet lizard, and I’ve gone skydiving.” 

They all think for a moment. To Patty she looks like a woman who is secretly pretty wild especially in her youth so she can believe the skydiving story. Patty shivers at the thought of falling out of a plane, even by choice, so thinks about the lizard instead. Beverly seems quite put together and very sensible in the way she presents herself but her fiery hair and bright eyes tells Patty she’s more interesting than she looks. 

“I don’t think you like purple.” Patty says decidedly to the woman. The freckles on Beverly’s face are beautiful and her lips look soft. Patty watches her drain her bottle with a practiced chug and place it gently back onto the table. Patty smiles at herself for thinking her husband’s childhood friend is attractive and makes a mental note to laugh about it with Stan later. 

“Your turn, Eddie.” Beverly tells him. Eddie plays with the ring on his fourth finger as he thinks. He had subtly reached into his pocket for his phone earlier in the meal and shut it off with a sigh. Since then Eddie had looked a lot more calm.

Eddie looks around Stan to make deliberate eye contact with Patty as he begins.

"My favourite flavour is strawberry, I, um… I have a chest tattoo, and I only own one pair of shoes." Eddie says with a hint of excitement in his voice. He looks like the feeling is unusual and it makes Patty feel sad for the man who seems too uptight for it to just be his personality. 

"The strawberry thing has to be true." Ben says, pushing his food around his plate with a chopstick. "Richie always bought strawberry ice cream for you to share with him."

Eddie smiles shyly and Richie looks down at the table and swears a little under his breath. Patty is fascinated by how everyone in the group seems to secretly have deeper connections with each other but don’t seem to talk about it. 

"No way spaghetti-man has a tattoo." Richie almost shouts across Stan and Patty. He leans onto the table and almost spills his drink as he strives to get closer to Eddie. They both hold sustained eye contact and have a conversation with just their eyebrows. Patty smirks at how obvious both men are being. 

“Why can’t I have a tattoo, dickward?” Eddie asks antagonisingly. He lowers his thick eyebrows and grins mischievously. “There isn’t only one type of person that can have them, you know.” 

Richie opens his mouth, probably to say something slightly offensive judging by what Patty’s heard throughout the meal, but gets interrupted. 

"He can’t just own one pair of shoes though." Bill utters obliviously. Everyone looks to him like moths to a flame. Patty can see how Stan would have a crush on him when he was younger, Stan always seems to like when Patty takes charge or shows authority, and Bill has similar attributes. "I think he likes chocolate more than strawberry."

They all turn curiously at Eddie but he refuses to tell until Patty has made her verdict. 

"I think the shoes thing is a lie." She says confidently. She could see him having a tattoo and Ben had assured her that Eddie used to like strawberry and who even owned only one pair of shoes? This man has a job and is married, and obviously goes to the gym, and you can’t live your life with the sensible lace-up oxfords he’s got on his feet right now.

Eddie raises his glass to his lips and downs the contents with a smirk.

Stan puts a hand on her thigh and squeezes tightly as a congratulations and Richie looks at Eddie in complete shock.

"I don't believe you, Spagheds." He says as he crosses his surprising muscular arms over his chest. "No way would Mrs. K. allow that."

Eddie snaps his head towards Richie and suddenly stands up. 

“Oh, dinner and a show,” Richie says and then whistles obnoxiously. Patty hides her laugh behind her hands and watches Stan roll his eyes. No one seems to be surprised by the flirting so she doesn’t comment. “It’s my lucky day.” 

Eddie grumbles a ‘shut up’ and begins to undo his top three buttons on his light blue dress shirt. He already took his red tie off earlier after realising he was slightly overdressed and because Richie had commented on it looking like his mommy had dressed him. 

Bev starts whistling as well and, by the time Eddie’s wiggling his shoulders out of his shirt, his face is red. 

The tattoos on his chest are more dramatic than Patty expected and she’s shocked by their low quality. They look old and she’s very confused by the meaning. There’s two stars with some swirly text in the centre and she sees a few others where his shirt slips slightly down his arms. 

Ben starts clapping for some reason and Bill is laughing hard. Stan looks genuinely shocked, an usual expression for him, and Patty falls a little in love with this strange group. They’ve spent 27 years apart but Patty wouldn’t be able to tell if she didn’t know the story. They still love each other like no time has passed. And still definitely mock each other like they're still the best of friends.

A waitress walks into their area to check on the noise and Eddie screeches. He throws his arms over his chest and his blush spreads down his neck.

He scrambles to his seat and starts struggling with the shirt. 

Everyone laughs loudly and she sees Bev wiping tears from her face, letting her sleeves slip. 

There’s a ring of bruises on each wrist and Patty stops laughing. Stan looks over to Patty in questioning and follows her eyeline. She hears Stan’s intake of breath and vows to get Bev alone before the night ends. She used to be trained to spot these signs when she was a teacher and bruised wrists are a big red flag. 

The rest of the group collectively continue to cackle and snort with Bill beginning to slap the table and Mike shaking his head. Patty looks beside her to see Richie’s reaction when she realises he hasn’t moved since Eddie stood up. His face is bright pink and he looks to be sweating and his mouth hangs open. 

A slightly topless Eddie must be enough to melt Richie’s brain and she smiles knowingly at him. He doesn’t react until she gently touches his shoulder when he suddenly comes back to himself. 

Richie’s eyes are panicked when they look at each other and she can see him begging her to let it go. Patty smiles warmly and looks back to the group silently as they begin to calm down. Eddie had his shirt done up but it looks rumpled and doesn’t sit right on his shoulders as he clearly rushed the buttoning. His arms are crossed but there’s a small, amused smile on his lips, contradicting the deep frown of his thick eyebrows. 

They forget about the game and start asking Patty questions instead. She has a feeling they’re trying to focus on her so as to not get into anything more difficult.

“Where’d you two meet?” Ben asks sweetly with a kind smile and a still full plate. She hasn’t seen him eat more than a few noodles the entire meal and she thinks sadly about the comments everyone had made about his transformation. Weight could be a sore subject and even the playful teasing has obviously affected him. 

“We met at a college party.” Patty relays as she looks at the group. Stan sips his drink and stares at her lovingly. “I asked him to dance and we never looked back.” 

Ben pouts and looks like he could cry. It’s not the most romantic start to a relationship but Patty guesses Ben just loves love and hearing stories about it. 

“Stan the Man at a party?” Richie says in disbelief having recovered from the shock of a half naked Eddie with another drink. “Were you lost, Mr. Blum?” 

That is certainly going to be Patty’s new nickname for Stan, Mr. Blum has a nice ring to it. And Stan’s shy smile at the name definitely helped solidify the idea. Mrs. Uris and Mr. Blum. 

“It was college, Richie. People go to parties in college.” Her husband replies calmly. Patty doesn’t comment on how he’d gone to the party in a sweater vest or how he was stood alone when they met. “Not that you’d know anything about college.”

“Hey! I went to college.” The other man whines.

“For how long?” Stan asks bluntly. Patty can see that Stan’s joking because he gets crinkles by his eyes as he stops himself from smiling.

"A semester.” 

The others at the table laugh but Stan tilts his head sideways and frowns a little. She remembers Stan telling her about how Richie was always the best in his classes and almost made valedictorian. Stan had been joking about the college thing and was shocked to hear Richie didn’t excel academically after high school. 

He lets it go and they continue to ask about her life. She tells them about teaching and her paintings and Stan passes his phone around to show everyone some of her artwork. It’s embarrassing and Patty hates it but the gesture is sweet. 

No one mentions Beverly’s, Bill’s, or Eddie’s marriages again and, praise the Lord, no one mentions anything to do with babies or children. She feels comfortable at the table and they welcome her into their club with outstretched arms and smiles. 

Dessert soon arrives and they start arguing over the bill until suddenly everyone stares at the fortune cookies in the middle of the table. Patty looks around at them all as they spring out of their chairs. Stan grabs her by the arm and pulls her away from the table. 

“What the fuck is that, man?” She hears Richie whine as they stare down at the unmoving bowl. 

Everyone starts to panic. Ben rushes in front of Eddie and she faintly hears Richie shout his name as Patty tries desperately to calm Stan.

Bill steps in front of Bev and Mike looks between the table and Patty's face. 

She focuses on stroking Stan's hair as he pushes his head into her chest. He starts tapping harshly against his side to stop himself scratching and slams his eyes shut. 

Patty has no idea what's happening and keeps checking to see if she's missing something on the table. It's still full with drinks and there's still a bowl of fortune cookies but nothing that would cause this reaction. 

Mike begins to relax his shoulders as he looks at Patty's reaction. 

"It's not real." Mike says abruptly, stopping Richie from smashing a chair onto the table. "Look!" 

They all look towards Patty as Mike gestures at her confused expression. 

"You can't see anything?" Bill asks in disbelief as Richie slowly lowers the chair to the floor. 

Patty looks at their panicked faces and the non-threatening table and shakes her head. She holds onto Stan a little tighter as she hears his quick breaths. 

"See what?" Patty questions. How could seven people get that freaked out over nothing? The table's pretty bare and there is no reason for these adults to be so scared of some boring fortune cookies.

"That fucking clown." Richie states quietly as he looks at Mike.

Patty suddenly understands and holds Stan even tighter.

The group starts interrogating Mike about the reason he brought them back as Stanley calms down. Richie, Ben, and Bill throw a frankly ridiculous amount of money from their wallets on the table and they all move outside. 

The discussion becomes heated but eventually everyone agrees to stay to help out. Eddie gets into Richie's rental, Bill gets into Mike's truck, and Patty drives herself, Stan, Ben, and Beverly along the silent, lifeless roads.

Here's to defeating evil. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments. 
> 
> Any feedback would be good :)

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be great!! 
> 
> And remember Stanley Uris is a beast in the bedroom and no one can convince me otherwise.


End file.
